Gas Prices: They are all in your head.

Conspiracy #8432

Gas prices have been of great concern for the past few years. Many people believe it is because of high oil prices and the inability to refine enough gasoline to match the consumption of the world economy. This is absolutely not true. I Les B. Starkley has insider information that is telling me the reason gas continues to go up is coming from a much scarier place; international consumers wanting to be more like Americans. Let me explain this to you so you can spread the truth!
People from other emerging economies like China and India like the things that we in America have enjoyed for decades like hot water, medical treatment, TV, sports and mobility (i.e. cars). This is all irrefutable fact. However, the thing they like the most about us Americans is our God given right to complain. This IS the reason gas prices have risen so dramatically. If we did not have a daily pebble in our shoes, called high gas prices, we might not have anything to complain about. Our corporations and government have wisely noted the one prized export that we Americans have, complaining. Thus they have created a plan to make sure that we are in a constant state of complaint. We then are able to set the example to the emerging economies and perpetuate the ongoing systems of world economies.
The only way we can actually lower the price of gas, back to the level we all know it should be, is for we as Americans to collectively find something better to complain about. As for this may I offer a few suggestions. One: we collectively object to the way we give states silly nicknames like "The Show Me State" or "Land of 10,000 Lakes". Two: We complain that White House has been white for too long. I mean seriously with all the advancement in paint technology it could be a different color every four years or so. Three: gerbils as pets for kids. enough said about that.
There you have three different scenarios that bring a furious drudge to our collective minds, and a new form of fodder to which we can cast our complaints. We can not blame anyone but ourselves and that is complaint enough right there. Seek the truth and truth the seeker.