This Just In: Sarah Palin is the illegitimate love child of John McCain

Conspiracy #6137
It has come to my attention that Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska, is actually an illegitimate child of John McCain. According to Sarah's wikipedia page she was the third of four children born to her parents, the Heath's, in Idaho. This however is simply a cover story for a much larger and darker conspiracy. It was the summer of 1968 and John McCain was pissed that the DNC of 1968 was so popular. I mean there were riots, if that doesn't scream popularity, i don't know what does. John has never liked being associated with a losing team, so he concocted a large scheme. He went to San Fransisco and found a disfranchised hippie girl that was all about free love. John took some of that free love and waited calmly for approximately nine months. At that point in time a girl was born to the free loving hippie chick. The hippie chick saw this new addition the the world as a drag on her free love and gladly signed over custody to the father John McCain. John then secretly switched his daughter with the original Sarah Heath (Palin) while her parents were on their way to Alaska. John Chose The Heath's because the remote frontier of Alaska was a perfect environment for his little girl to grow. While little Sarah was growing up in Alaska John was always keeping up on his little girl using the CIA, NASA, Halliburton and the GOP. He would send people in and out of Sarah's life over the years influencing her to become involved in politics. Once he saw that she had the "McCain" bug for politics he launched his bid for President of the united States knowing that once he secured the nomination he would call little Sarah "McCain" Palin to be his VP. He knew that the time was right, due to the historic nature of this election, to unleash what he lovingly calls the Daughter of the New World Order. We are now seeing the fruits of McCains far reaching conspiracy coming together. The final steps of the plan are to become President and then finally die. This will then put his child in the drivers seat of the most powerful nation in the world. Then John McCain will have the last laugh on those pesky Democrats.

Until later this has been Les B. Starkley