In the name of national security all horoscopes should be banned from newspapers, magazines, and the Internet. Some horoscopes contain messages for sleeper cell terror rings. Take for example today's horoscope for Leo.
Don�t get too carried away today, Leo, because fairly subtle influences will be deceptive and misleading. You may think that you�ve got the perfect answer or solution to a practical problem; however, it is possible that your methods won�t hold up to close scrutiny. You may have to go back to the drawing board!
Obviously the part where it says "Don't get too carried away today" refers to the amount of shampoo one is to use when taking a shower. Too much shampoo might make one's smell too powerful making them overly conspicuous. Now the part about "fairly subtle influences" Is code for antidepressant medications. It means "don't forget to take your meds cause we don't want you flying off the handle before the correct time." The part that says "You may think that you've got the perfect answer or solution to a practical problem." is referring to the over use of SUV's. Many people have thought that SUV's are the perfect solution for getting from the home to the office and back again. So in this case the perfect "solution" is not a SUV, it is actually a horse or a camel depending on what you have available to you. And finally the part that talks about going back to the drawing b
oard. This is a obvious reference calling the sleeper cells to go back to school. You may notice a correlation in the next few months between the time this message was distributed and the enrolment in the online University of Phoenix. Keep in mind that this is just one message for a group that was born in August. There are hundreds more messages out there that have the possibility of compromising our national security. let's band together and stop the madness of secret messages in horoscopes.
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1 comment:
Someone give this man some Visine, because his watchful eye never blinks.
Moe B. Starkley
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